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| A year of love and lessons Looking back on the past year, I realise there is much to be thankful for, and at the same time, much to learn from/about and work on. It’s amazing how one thing can lead to another, and how interconnected we all are. So without further ado… I’m thankful for:
• My friends
While all of you are dear to my heart, special mentions have to go to (not in any particular order) A, XH, AK, L, G, SV and MH. You’ve enriched my life in so many ways, teaching me valuable lessons on strength, determination and confidence. Thank you for listening to my woes, and sharing in my joy. • My Frisbee friends
It’s been slightly more than a year of disc-tossing, running, chasing and laughter. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a team sport as much as this one, but then again, it’s probably because of you people. :) Outside of the game, we’ve had dinners, movie outings, and board game gatherings, among so many other activities. Thank you for welcoming me so wholeheartedly. Also, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have got to play D&D and made even more friends! :D • My D&D group
Yes, some of my dear Frisbee friends started this group last September. I had always been curious about D&D, and this was just the opportunity I needed. We brought in our friends, our friends introduced more friends… The numbers grew; so did the amount of randomness, craziness and fun! I look forward to each session almost as much as I do for Frisbee. Thank you all for the exciting adventures and madness, and stay awesome! • My colleagues/lunch mates
The work day (especially lunch time) used to be dreary – it plodded along quietly. I felt like one against the world, not part of anything. Then I got to know sweet and thoughtful CC, who I lunch with, occasionally joined by 2 others. Then new colleagues came, and our lunch group now stands at 7 max. Thank you for making lunch time fun, and the work day brighter with your company and encouragement! • My friend
Hearing from you again was completely unexpected (I did feel a twinge of guilt/pain/regret/nostalgia at first). It astounds me that despite past events and the months of almost complete silence (or was it a year or two? It certainly felt that way), it’s still so easy to talk to you. Admittedly, the intervening time has done me much good. I feel greatly reassured that you are still my friend, and I am touched by your efforts to reconnect. Thank you for stepping back into my life. I need to learn to:
• Not be proud and complacent, and to be more efficient
I thought I was doing a decent job at work; in actuality, I was careless and overconfident. But I know I can do better – I just have to be more mindful, and work harder and smarter. • Be more mindful of what I say or do
'nuff said about that. • Control my feelings well and not make the same mistakes
Oft-times, my heart leads me astray, when pragmatic logic would serve me far better. I know, in my mind, what the right things to fight for are, and I must constantly remind myself not to let my emotions cloud my judgment. • Hone my patience and resolve
“For every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven.” I have to trust that no matter how long it takes, things will work out, somehow. They may not turn out the way I hoped, or may take longer than expected, but in the meantime, the best thing to do is to leave expectations behind, and just be firm and stoic, especially when events and emotions may seem overwhelming. Ohmmm…… On the whole, 2011 was a better time than the last two years combined. :) | | |
| Friday, 16/12/2011, 12.23 am Often have I told my friend MH that I really feel like being a puppy. A puppy who only needs sleep, food and drink, someone to play with. A puppy who gets patted and his fur ruffled. A puppy is a simple creature. You take care of him, you play with him, he’s happy. You show your love by spending time with him. If I were a puppy, I’ll be free to act silly, gambolling, chasing and/or pouncing on things, all the while wuffing excitedly, with tongue lolled out and tail wagging furiously. When tired, I’ll just curl up/snuggle against the person I love (my owner, my person) or lie on his/her lap. Sometimes I’ll bump my head against my person’s chest or nuzzle my person’s hands or arms, to hint, “Hey! How about a good scratch or ruffle?” And my eyes would close in contented bliss when my person does so. On the rare times I feel bored or unhappy, I’ll chew/gnaw on something to ease the tension. Maybe dig some holes in the garden, who knows? But I’m not a puppy. I’m just a confused, complicated human. Sigh. 1.00 am | | |
| Thursday, 1/12/2011, 12.20 am Today (well Wednesday that is) during lunch, I received a message. It was from my friend, the one I hadn’t heard from or spoken to for a long time, asking (of all things) for baking advice. I was very surprised. Having not talked to each other for so long, I expected things to be slightly awkward. But as we exchanged SMSes throughout the day, we slipped back easily into the familiar flow of bad jokes and teasing, as if nothing had changed between us. My heart rejoiced, but it also ached. We are still friends; that, I now know. However, I know not whether we are or can be as close as we were in the past. In any case, I am glad that we have reconnected, and that you thought of me (albeit because you needed help, haha!). I am heartened that our friendship still remains (most thankful for it too!), and I hope that, well, it will be the same as before, long long ago. Thank you for reminding me of our friendship. 1.17 am | | |
| Monday, 28/11/2011, 11.50 pm Yesterday, a friend gave me with what was by far the most interesting present I’ve ever received – a gift subscription to a PC game hosted on Steam, an online game distributor network. (Yes, I know what Steam is, even before I got the email from the website notifying me of the gift. Gamer friends. :Þ) I couldn’t help grinning. Completely unexpected (Happy Thanksgiving?? *chuckle*) and incredibly geeky! *highly amused* Well, I won’t be able to play the game yet, as I’m really swamped with work now, but it’s something to look forward to, I guess. (Don’t know if I’ll like it either… but I am thoroughly tickled and touched by the gift! XD) Thank you!! :) 12.19 am | | |
| Thursday, 13/10/2011, 12.55 am I’m angry with myself. Why? I keep setting myself up for disappointment. I can’t blame anyone but myself. Where is that blasé/nonchalant/devil-may-care attitude I used to have?
“Like, whatever, so be it. I’m not going to assume anything, or read too much into anything, that sorta thing.” I really need to bring back that side of me; that’ll help me balance out my neuroses and chill. What can I say, the only one who can (never fails to!) make me feel stupid is myself. And I’m remarkably good at that. 1.13 am | | |
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